-->
1. Umami had been talked up by many friends
2. I had been once and enjoyed it immensely.
3. I've only been to the Hollywood location. = I've only been where trendy jackholes go
4. Chris Shmim (Alias), a friend , was with me for this adventure.
NICE SIGN BRO!
So,
Im not sure if my going last time during a very slow time was to my advantage, because this time there were alot of people and it was like being an animal in a zoo. And by that i mean people are constantly looking at you... as you eat... which is obnoxiously uncomfortable. The space itself looks like it belongs in Williamsburg, BKLYN. It's all brick and glass and minimalist and hip and theres art on the walls but its hung up in the corners, so you sorta have to work to see it.
The first thing i ordered was a beer as soon as i sat down. I ordered the "Tiger Lager" , clearly i dont know myself at all, because if you know me you know i dont enjoy Lagers. So moral of the story is... I'm dumb.
After i ordered the beer i realized i had made a huge mistake, not because it was a lager but because there are great "Kombu Meals" on the menu. ( I had gotten the beer that came with the umami burger, which i had already tried. The "Kombu Meals" include a burger, a side and a beer. (For instance, Umami Burger, Fries and Tiger Lager for 14 bucks!) but heres the rub. you cant substitute a drink or burger or side in those "Kombu Meals". They are written in stone. like the ten commandments. It was surprising to me that the server wouldnt even allow me to subsitute a cheaper burger. so... disappointed.
I ordered the "Truffle Burger", which has a truffle glace and truffle cheese. Chris ordered "The Umami Burger", without cheese...? its ok dont hate him, he's lamed by lactose. The food came very quickly. (Last time the server forgot to put our order in and blamed it on the kitchen... classic)
Its important to point out that Umami makes all their own condiments as well. The Ketchup is incredible. I grew up on Heinz ketchup with EVERYTHING and i feel like i've been living a lie.
Chris' first comment upon eating the ketchup was "I just want to eat this Ketchup for the rest of my life".
Many have tried Chris, many have tried.
The TRUFFLE BURGER
Believe me when i say that despite being stared at I loved that Burger more than i will love my first child. And i ate it faster than a female preying mantis will eat her first husband, Hey-YOOOOOO. but seriously. there was nothing but burger/cheese/bun in front of me and it was absurd. Sotp what you are doing right now, call umami, tell them you want ANY burger, get there, eat the shit out of that burger!!!
As far as the sides go, last time i got the cheddar tatter tots, they were unforgivably good. This time i got the onion rings, they were the only thing i really just didn't care for. They tasted like fried nothing.
So, Damn good Burgers! But maybe get it to go? unless of course you want to feel like big brother is watching. and by big brother i mean a bunch of nosy so&so's who have nothing better to do on their break from Amoeba.
In related news, WHEN WILL THOSE SLINKY HATS GO OUT OF STYLE?!?!?
